Sunday, September 12, 2010

I Am A Bear

Let me put this disclaimer right up front that nothing I say here excuses my behavior. This entry is simply a reflection on my behavior, delving within myself to find a reason for the way I am. Any comments indicating that you did not read this disclaiming will elicit a response from me summarily ripping you a proverbial new one. I have little patience for ignorant spatting responses by emotionally charged persons who want to put me into my place.

Now that I have scared away anyone from commenting, not that I really get a lot of comments anyway, but this entry is a response to the one I wrote earlier today titled, "Why a fag is my most loyal friend". It's a very mean-spirited entry that I wrote before going on the road. I came home from that trip, got nine hours of sleep, and instantly new that I needed to follow it up with something slightly more edifying.

Lately, I have noticed the stark contrast between how I behave when I've had rest and when I'm tired. I'm not talking about feeling a little worn out, but I mean when I've gone 15-20 hours without sleep. It's like I become a whole different person, a Mr. Hyde within the Dr. Jekyll. I'm short-tempered, quick to open my mouth, and slow to listen to reason. The worst part is that when I'm that tired I see the way I'm behaving and I hate it, but at the same time I feel less guilty about it because it's the only thing keeping me going.

... Now I'm really sad and have no motivation to finish this post.

Sic semper tyrannis,
De Facto

1 comment:

  1. That's pretty normal, hens why it is advised to not make major decisions while tired. I know in my life I tend to be more morally stupid as well. It's nasty cycle, you're so tired you know you're doing something not good but at the same time you don't care so you do it anyways and don't recognize it till you get sleep. But even though you know you'll regret it you still do it because you don't care 'cause your too tired.
    In other words don't be too hard on yourself, but at the same time don't let yourself get so tired, but if you must be tired set up boundaries so that when you get tired you won't be able to do as many stupid things.