Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Conviction About Family

It's really hard to talk about this because I'm surrounded by people who have strong family units, not perfect, but strongly knit. I've struggle with envying those who get along with their siblings, who can go a day without fighting, and who have great relationships with their parents. Anyways, within the past couple weeks I've been pouring my heart out to God and He's been showing me things, teaching me things, and stretching me in ways that I was previously inflexible. Lately, I feel like God wants me to start treating the women in my family better. I hardly ever see my mom anymore since I go to work when she goes to bed, and I come home when she goes to work. My younger sister is off at college, and my baby sister is hardly home because she's either at work or school. For a while, I was kind of wondering how that would possible since I'm hardly in contact with them anymore.

That's when I heard that my younger sister is getting static from people because of her stance on same-sex marriage, being on the unpopular side of the issue, and said to my, "I want to be a Christian, it's just hard." So what did I do? I wrote her a letter from my heart about being persecuted and understanding that the world doesn't really hate us; they hate who is in us, the Truth has that effect on people. Then the weather got really rather testy in my little portion of the world, and so I now have the opportunity to scrape the windows of the car she drives as well as start the car a few minutes before she leaves. And finally, my mom had skin cancer removed from her nose, which required a skin graft to cover the area of her nose they took. I've found I have helped her by being honest about the scar the graft left, because I think she's way too self-conscious about it; who wouldn't be though?

So last night at a meeting when we talked about what to pay attention to in a significant other, I got confirmation that God is starting to teach me how to be a better man for my future wife. For those who don't know: women should look at the way their boyfriend/male interest treats the women in his family and in particular his mother. Men should pay attention to the way their girlfriend treats the men in her family, particularly her father. Men do need to be aware that if their girlfriend/female interest has been abused in any way by her father, there's a certain amount of grace that you need to afford for her and the way she treats her father. However, in that situation, what men need to pay attention to is if she is transferring, meaning projecting the wrongs done to her by her father onto you (the boyfriend.)

Folks, this doesn't mean that I'm ready for a girlfriend or anything like that. In fact, I'm at a point in my life where I'm certain that I'm not ready for a relationship. God is preparing me, but He could take a year or ten years (please, Lord, don't take that long.) And while there is a desire in my heart to find my life-long partner, I also know that I can't truly love a woman without knowing the love of God. For now, I'm pretty content building my relationship with the Lover Of My Soul. Waiting for my future wife used to be a chore and that's probably because I was too immature to understand what it meant to really wait, yet now I find myself content to rest in His love.

Hoc est verum
De Facto

P.S. - I realize that this entry isn't very well written. I'm really off my sleep schedule and my head is kind of spinning from that.

2 comments:

  1. Lol I understand the head spinning due to the sleep scedule being off. You may want to fix that as it gets worse, at least in my experience.
    It's excellent that you are doing that for the women in your family. I hate to quote this verse in the context but, do good to those who distreat you for it will be like pooring coals on their heads.
    Btw I hope he doesn't make you wait ten years. Being near 30 and single has an added element of impatience. But the fact that you are simply waiting in his arms is an excellent sign that you are ready and increases the likelihood she'll show up. Just don't get impatient when she does.

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  2. The part about you going out of your way to encourage and help your sister out was really touching... I wish my brothers were more like that sometimes. :P

    "Men should pay attention to the way their girlfriend treats the men in her family, particularly her father. Men do need to be aware that if their girlfriend/female interest has been abused in any way by her father, there's a certain amount of grace that you need to afford for her and the way she treats her father."

    You are seriously the first person who's mentioned the first part and then added the second part. Everyone else who has mentioned that point always manages to convey something like this: "Watch how she/he behaves towards her father and brothers/his mother and sisters, and if he/she doesn't get along with them for any reason whatsoever, ditch him/her." Perhaps that's not quite what they mean to say, but that is very much how it comes across, and it really does make me angry.
    So, kudos to you for looking at it from both sides! :)

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