Yesterday, I nearly had an aneurysm when a couple kids decided they had had enough of my preachy-ness and took offense to something I wrote about emotionally unstable individuals. I literally flipped my lid and then some. I was so livid that I was not rationally processing information the way I normally do. I even had a desire for vindication, which came out when I made a few very sarcastic retaliatory remarks. Basically, I had let two kids (legally they're adults, but they're kids to me) get me riled up... And over what? Some passive aggressive remarks that one of them makes consistently because that person won't go through the process of dealing with their issues? Wow... I really have stooped low...
Granted, I had a right to be irked. I mean, one of them basically told me that had this been a year ago that my name would have ended up on their suicide note. That is a sign of someone who has serious emotional issues.I was also told that I am abusive person who doesn't give a damn about them... Yes, that's why I've offered to help that person get out of their unhealthy living environment with funds out of my own pocket. I'm a freakin' college student and the money I have has to be so carefully rationed out that to offer to do that is basically saying, "I wont eat for the next week just to make sure that you have a safe place to call home." Yet I digress from the purpose of this entry... The way I handled my anger was so unbelievably irrational that I astonish myself as I think about the events of yesterday. In fact, yesterday should have been a great day. I had a successful interview for a job that could start this summer and extend throughout the Fall semester. Instead, I decided to let a couple of kids with some issues of their own get under my skin and ruin my entire day. It seems like I haven't learned as much as I'd like to think I have in the past three years. Oh yes, I've been down this road before. I've also been the one with issues that would drag well-established members of society down with me. I've now seen both sides of the fence, and both are just as deprived of decency as the other.
So what is a poor fellow to do? Well, back in the day the advice was to get out of the situation for a while to get some perspective. That advice seems fitting for situations that develop on the Internet. Now, to be fair, I'm not completely removing myself from the Internet. I'm still checking my e-mails and stuff, but the two places I'm intentionally avoiding at this point are: Facebook and the forum where this all started (actually it technically started elsewhere, but I'm not going into that now). I'm also going to reduce how much time I spend on the Internet and spend more time studying for classes. I don't know how long this will go for (I'm thinking 'til Thursday night), but I just know that I need to gain some perspective. If this is how I react to a couple of kids projecting their issues on me, then I shudder to think how I might handle a real world problem if it were to smack me on the face tomorrow... *ponders*
Oh, I suppose I should end this, huh?
Well I hope you all have a great week and continue to seek the Truth.
Hoc est verum,
De Facto
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
What A Godly Man Wants (In a Wife)
Leslie Ludy, a Christ-follower and publisher of an online magazine, has an article that caught my eye because of its pertinence to the Church today. You can go to her website to read the article, which begins on page 19, and after doing so come back here and join me in my thoughts on this matter. I'd like to thank a friend of mine, whom I shall give the anonymous name of Stark Princess ("stark" in this context refers to contrast, in that she is not your traditional princess; she's the kind of princess that when Satan hears a rumble on Earth, he's saying, "Oh crap, she's awake.")
Here's what I have to say about this, as I posted it on Stark Princess's Facebook:
"The goal should not be marriage, but marriage be a gift from God. Contrary to tradition, women should not take a backseat in service to our King, but should be on the forefront of ministry. Women do not need men to be counted a useful service in the Kingdom, but are useful simply because they are His creation. Women should be unashamedly proclaiming His Name at the risk of everything they stand to lose in this life, for His Kingdom should be their only homeland. Women should be on the front-lines, side by side with men, on their knees praying and fasting for the coming of our Lord.
Marriage is not something wholly wrong to seek after, but when it gets int the way of a woman's service to the King, then it has altogether lost its meaning in community of Christ. God is the only one who can fulfill our needs, and as such He should be the first and foremost sought after. When husband and wife become a distraction to each other, they fail the Kingdom in fulfilling their purpose of furthering the Cause of Christ, and ultimately commit idolatry in His eyes.
Women, I urge you that to seek Him above all other things. No man can provide for you the way that the Father can. You are not helpless brittle creatures that need constant caring for, constant protection because you have been given the same armor of God that us men have. You have the same weapons and tools that men have. Use them. You have the same commandment that we have, the same commission to go forth into the world and make disciples of every nation. To this end, do not even think about marriage until you have set to task your part in fulfilling the Great Commission."
Yes, I'm quite passionate about this subject.
Honestly, Christ-followers the world-over get a bad rep because of the history of Christianity being rather misogynistic or willfully ignorant of the significance of the role women play in the all out battle for the souls of every person of every nation. And this Warrior Poet who wrote about the misconceived notion of the "Christian Think Tank" perception couldn't have said it better; men and women are compliments of each other, but they are not essential to each other in order to be able to do the work God has called them to do.
At the risk of sounding like a chauvinist, when the Warrior Poet said, "If you’re less attractive to the world, and have a few unsightly calluses, scars, or limps because of living surrendered to God’s work, a Warrior-Poet will still count you as the most glorious, radiant, blazingly-beautiful, and stunningly-breathtaking woman to ever grace the planet." He made a serious understatement, for the simple fact that that is the sexiest woman a Godly man can find. Those calluses, scars, and limps aren't things to be overlooked as if they were something to be ashamed of; they're prerequisites! Honestly, I can't see why any man who calls himself a Christ-follower would even consider marrying a woman who hasn't already established herself as an active force for Christ.
Look folks, if you know me at all, then you know that it's no secret I have a strong desire for a spouse; I'd rather spend the rest of my days as an unmarried servant of Christ, than a married apathetic spectator-Christian. My faith is not a hobby, or a club that I joined to take up some time I just happen to have. My beliefs are the sole motivating force behind why I continue to live despite the growing chaos in the world around me. Left to my own devices, I'm a walking mass-destructive machine of carnage and destitution. Because of Christ, I am more than human, more than a conqueror, and no longer of this world; a pilgrim in a foreign land. I cannot and will not settle for a woman who doesn't have the same disposition.
Hoc est verum,
De Facto
Here's what I have to say about this, as I posted it on Stark Princess's Facebook:
"The goal should not be marriage, but marriage be a gift from God. Contrary to tradition, women should not take a backseat in service to our King, but should be on the forefront of ministry. Women do not need men to be counted a useful service in the Kingdom, but are useful simply because they are His creation. Women should be unashamedly proclaiming His Name at the risk of everything they stand to lose in this life, for His Kingdom should be their only homeland. Women should be on the front-lines, side by side with men, on their knees praying and fasting for the coming of our Lord.
Marriage is not something wholly wrong to seek after, but when it gets int the way of a woman's service to the King, then it has altogether lost its meaning in community of Christ. God is the only one who can fulfill our needs, and as such He should be the first and foremost sought after. When husband and wife become a distraction to each other, they fail the Kingdom in fulfilling their purpose of furthering the Cause of Christ, and ultimately commit idolatry in His eyes.
Women, I urge you that to seek Him above all other things. No man can provide for you the way that the Father can. You are not helpless brittle creatures that need constant caring for, constant protection because you have been given the same armor of God that us men have. You have the same weapons and tools that men have. Use them. You have the same commandment that we have, the same commission to go forth into the world and make disciples of every nation. To this end, do not even think about marriage until you have set to task your part in fulfilling the Great Commission."
Yes, I'm quite passionate about this subject.
Honestly, Christ-followers the world-over get a bad rep because of the history of Christianity being rather misogynistic or willfully ignorant of the significance of the role women play in the all out battle for the souls of every person of every nation. And this Warrior Poet who wrote about the misconceived notion of the "Christian Think Tank" perception couldn't have said it better; men and women are compliments of each other, but they are not essential to each other in order to be able to do the work God has called them to do.
At the risk of sounding like a chauvinist, when the Warrior Poet said, "If you’re less attractive to the world, and have a few unsightly calluses, scars, or limps because of living surrendered to God’s work, a Warrior-Poet will still count you as the most glorious, radiant, blazingly-beautiful, and stunningly-breathtaking woman to ever grace the planet." He made a serious understatement, for the simple fact that that is the sexiest woman a Godly man can find. Those calluses, scars, and limps aren't things to be overlooked as if they were something to be ashamed of; they're prerequisites! Honestly, I can't see why any man who calls himself a Christ-follower would even consider marrying a woman who hasn't already established herself as an active force for Christ.
Look folks, if you know me at all, then you know that it's no secret I have a strong desire for a spouse; I'd rather spend the rest of my days as an unmarried servant of Christ, than a married apathetic spectator-Christian. My faith is not a hobby, or a club that I joined to take up some time I just happen to have. My beliefs are the sole motivating force behind why I continue to live despite the growing chaos in the world around me. Left to my own devices, I'm a walking mass-destructive machine of carnage and destitution. Because of Christ, I am more than human, more than a conqueror, and no longer of this world; a pilgrim in a foreign land. I cannot and will not settle for a woman who doesn't have the same disposition.
Hoc est verum,
De Facto
Friday, March 18, 2011
Too Many Blogs
Some people may feel like I have too many blogs that it becomes hard to follow what I'm writing. Honestly, I'm inclined to agree. I do have quite a few blogs and it would be hard to follow if you tried to follow them all. Let me break it down for you though. I have one main blog, that's this one, and the sole purpose of this blog is for my thoughts and feelings. I post what I thinking, feeling, learning, and all that jazz. I have a private blog, Salve Diem Celeriter, which is viewable to my mentors and friends who have shown themselves to be of high caliber integrity. I haven't always gotten along with those friends, in fact a few of them have been the ones who I've had the most beef with, but in the end they helped me grow beyond whatever was driving a wedge between us. I have a blog where I post my Star Trek fan-fiction, Fayn Desmond, but I don't update that often. I have a blog for my worship, prayers, and praise, Te Laudare, and that I update when I have something on my heart that I feel would best be written directly to God. I made it into a blog because I want people to know what I'm going through. Some people hear me talk and think I'm coming across as self-righteous, but my hope is that they can read my blog entries and see that I'm going through the same stuff. Finally, I have my Chicago Blog. The Chicago Blog is my blog for more Chicago-based things. I also post my less extensive thoughts about class and life in general.
Alternatively, I have revitalized my YouTube channel, EnDiHjobi - James' Crazy Rants where I post videos of my thoughts and feelings on various things from television shows I'm watching to issues brought up in videos I see there on YouTube. I'm still getting accustomed to speaking in front of a camera, so my videos tend to ramble-on a bit with a lot of "ums" and "uhs". Eventually, I'll get more concise and have a style that people will be able to pick up on.
So here's my suggestion. Pick one blog, my suggestion for my mentors and such is that you stick to reading Salve Diem Celeriter, and follow that one blog. If you're friends with me on Facebook you will notice that occasionally I'll make a status update that indicates which blog I've been writing in if I haven't written on one lately. If you're not friends with me on Facebook and you'd like to be, then hit me up with an e-mail: vladimirsokolovresurrected AT gmail DOT com (remove the spaces, replace AT with an @ symbol, and DOT with a period. I do this because there are bots out there that collect e-mail addresses for spam).
Anyways, that's it for now.
Hoc est verum,
De Facto
Alternatively, I have revitalized my YouTube channel, EnDiHjobi - James' Crazy Rants where I post videos of my thoughts and feelings on various things from television shows I'm watching to issues brought up in videos I see there on YouTube. I'm still getting accustomed to speaking in front of a camera, so my videos tend to ramble-on a bit with a lot of "ums" and "uhs". Eventually, I'll get more concise and have a style that people will be able to pick up on.
So here's my suggestion. Pick one blog, my suggestion for my mentors and such is that you stick to reading Salve Diem Celeriter, and follow that one blog. If you're friends with me on Facebook you will notice that occasionally I'll make a status update that indicates which blog I've been writing in if I haven't written on one lately. If you're not friends with me on Facebook and you'd like to be, then hit me up with an e-mail: vladimirsokolovresurrected AT gmail DOT com (remove the spaces, replace AT with an @ symbol, and DOT with a period. I do this because there are bots out there that collect e-mail addresses for spam).
Anyways, that's it for now.
Hoc est verum,
De Facto
Friday, March 4, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
The Search Continues
For the past eight or nine months I have been on a journey to find a language in which to share with my own future family. At one point I was looking at currently spoken languages, but as time passed I began to want the language to be an intimate way to communicate to my children. I turned my search to "dead languages" such as Classical Latin, Greek, Babylonian, Gaelic, Old English, and Norse languages. Unfortunately, most of these languages are ones that are either so dead that they cannot be revived for modern use or they are not suited for my needs. I talked to one of the professors, also known as a facilitator at my school, who suggested that I create my own language by picking apart the things I like about others languages and using them in a potpourri manner.
This is a possible solution, however at this juncture in my understanding and knowledge of language rather unrealistic. It's quite possible that I could create a pidgin language, that is a language which is very minimalistic and build it up from the framework; that would require other people to learn the language and speak it with each other to create a creole language that would later develop into a more complex and formalized language. Again, none of this means much of anything because I really don't know how feasible all this is, and yet somehow I have hope that perhaps with the right people (and Shimer just may have the right people at my disposal) it may be possible.
Ever since I was little I have always had a fascination with languages, and as a child I would create codes and phrases from random sounds I could make; using them repetitively to reaffirm their meaning. I had little understanding of language, but as my research indicates that could be exactly how languages are created. In Nicaragua, Sign Language was non-existent up until very recently. What started out as simply throwing a bunch of deaf children who had been branded as rejects of the public education system; turned into one of the most peculiar phenomena which has many implications for those who study the development of language. These deaf children came together with only crude gestures used at home, but over time researchers found that the students had developed a complex Sign Language that had been built on those crude gestures.
For now, I must simply research more and more, but another part of me says, "Just make something and go with it." Therefore I plan to discuss with my facilitator how might go about developing a pidgin language.
Hoc est verum,
De Facto
This is a possible solution, however at this juncture in my understanding and knowledge of language rather unrealistic. It's quite possible that I could create a pidgin language, that is a language which is very minimalistic and build it up from the framework; that would require other people to learn the language and speak it with each other to create a creole language that would later develop into a more complex and formalized language. Again, none of this means much of anything because I really don't know how feasible all this is, and yet somehow I have hope that perhaps with the right people (and Shimer just may have the right people at my disposal) it may be possible.
Ever since I was little I have always had a fascination with languages, and as a child I would create codes and phrases from random sounds I could make; using them repetitively to reaffirm their meaning. I had little understanding of language, but as my research indicates that could be exactly how languages are created. In Nicaragua, Sign Language was non-existent up until very recently. What started out as simply throwing a bunch of deaf children who had been branded as rejects of the public education system; turned into one of the most peculiar phenomena which has many implications for those who study the development of language. These deaf children came together with only crude gestures used at home, but over time researchers found that the students had developed a complex Sign Language that had been built on those crude gestures.
For now, I must simply research more and more, but another part of me says, "Just make something and go with it." Therefore I plan to discuss with my facilitator how might go about developing a pidgin language.
Hoc est verum,
De Facto
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Children of God
Remember my blog entry, Overkill from August 18th, 2010 outlining my explanation and apology for a major blunder on my part regarding the FTN forums? In the past few days I have worked with a friend who also happens to be one of the people who spearheaded the character assault on me during the ordeal. She has since expressed her heartfelt contriteness and we've made amends to the point where she has been my liaison to the admin and mod council of the FTN forums. As it turns out my apology was well received by everyone, except for two people; the admin and a moderator.
Bummer, huh? I did exactly what the admin had asked me to do in order to be considered for returning, but instead my apology fell on deaf ears (or blind eyes as it were.) Thing is, I'm not mad. I don't think poorly of the moderators or even of my dear friend the admin. What the admin is probably unaware of is that I know her in real life by our real names, and it is likely she has no idea that the two are one-and-the-same. The way she behaves online is so unlike the person I know and love in real life. It's actually hard for me to believe that the person that has such beef with me is the same person that's so sweet and charming in real life. So I may have the right to be mad at her and the other mod for this, but my life is too short and love is so much more important that I cannot waste more time being angry and hating people for these little things.
Oh, and the reason I even wanted to go back there was because I've been reading the books these forums were designed to discuss and I wanted to be able to have discussions, however these books are somewhat unknown to the larger majority of readers and therefore I cannot. The FTN forums seems to fill a very unique niche that I'd be hard-pressed to find elsewhere, but it also just so happens that I've burned a lot of bridges and there are some not ready to build new ones yet.
This reminds me of what Jesus said in Matthew 18:21-22, that we should not forgive someone seven times, but seventy times seven. This was not a literal figure, but meant as an expression of our unending willingness to forgive those who have wronged us. That doesn't mean we have to let people walk all over us, but we shouldn't hold things against them for the sake of wanting vindication or the satisfaction of knowing you were right and they were wrong. This is something I know I struggle with when I know that I am right, but it doesn't anybody else sees it that way. My natural inclination is to point out why they are in the wrong and I am right, but Jesus is basically saying, "Forget that, just forgive 'em and move on." And again in Matthew 5:46-47 Christ says to love your enemies. He asks what good is there in loving just your friends? Even the most corrupt and despicable people do that.
The final decision shall be made in a week from now, so until then I do not hold my breath or stir myself into a nervous frenzy. Whatever happens will happen and only God can judge our hearts. It is not in my job description as a disciple of Jesus to cast one person as the villain and another as the hero, but instead I am to spread the Gospel and make disciples wherever I go; speaking truth in love and sharing His love with everyone I meet. That, my friends, is all I can do at this point, but it is all I want to do if it brings glory to the Father.
Hoc est verum,
De Facto
Bummer, huh? I did exactly what the admin had asked me to do in order to be considered for returning, but instead my apology fell on deaf ears (or blind eyes as it were.) Thing is, I'm not mad. I don't think poorly of the moderators or even of my dear friend the admin. What the admin is probably unaware of is that I know her in real life by our real names, and it is likely she has no idea that the two are one-and-the-same. The way she behaves online is so unlike the person I know and love in real life. It's actually hard for me to believe that the person that has such beef with me is the same person that's so sweet and charming in real life. So I may have the right to be mad at her and the other mod for this, but my life is too short and love is so much more important that I cannot waste more time being angry and hating people for these little things.
Oh, and the reason I even wanted to go back there was because I've been reading the books these forums were designed to discuss and I wanted to be able to have discussions, however these books are somewhat unknown to the larger majority of readers and therefore I cannot. The FTN forums seems to fill a very unique niche that I'd be hard-pressed to find elsewhere, but it also just so happens that I've burned a lot of bridges and there are some not ready to build new ones yet.
This reminds me of what Jesus said in Matthew 18:21-22, that we should not forgive someone seven times, but seventy times seven. This was not a literal figure, but meant as an expression of our unending willingness to forgive those who have wronged us. That doesn't mean we have to let people walk all over us, but we shouldn't hold things against them for the sake of wanting vindication or the satisfaction of knowing you were right and they were wrong. This is something I know I struggle with when I know that I am right, but it doesn't anybody else sees it that way. My natural inclination is to point out why they are in the wrong and I am right, but Jesus is basically saying, "Forget that, just forgive 'em and move on." And again in Matthew 5:46-47 Christ says to love your enemies. He asks what good is there in loving just your friends? Even the most corrupt and despicable people do that.
The final decision shall be made in a week from now, so until then I do not hold my breath or stir myself into a nervous frenzy. Whatever happens will happen and only God can judge our hearts. It is not in my job description as a disciple of Jesus to cast one person as the villain and another as the hero, but instead I am to spread the Gospel and make disciples wherever I go; speaking truth in love and sharing His love with everyone I meet. That, my friends, is all I can do at this point, but it is all I want to do if it brings glory to the Father.
Hoc est verum,
De Facto
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Adrift Without Cause
Have you felt like you know that you want serve the Lord, but you simply don't know what to do? For several years I've been drifting from place to place, ministry to ministry trying to find my place where I feel like God wanted me. I've done everything from ministry of helps (cleaning, ushering, and technical support) to street evangelism and everything in between. In the process I've gone to school to learn about being a minister and that opened my eyes to a whole new understanding of the different types of ministry there are that work through and in support of the Five Fold. Still, I tried just about everything and nothing fit. I could tell some pretty humorously sad stories about the stupid things I've done while I was learning to go about ministering, but maybe some other time.
Imagine my surprise upon reading the letter of James that it suddenly became so clear. Most of us are already aware that we are to go into the world and make disciples (Matthew 28:19), and that's a big but in James 1:27 it says that the only faultless religion is to take care of the orphans and widows and to remain untainted by the world. Wow! Finally, someone can give it to me straight. I used to think I need to switch churches or find the right Bible study to figure out what I could do, but in the end that stuff isn't what is important. We live out our lives doing the good work God has called us to do to the least of these (Matthew 25:40). Some might be wondering what that good work is, but the answer is so simple. Live. We live our lives to honor and glorify God, setting ourselves apart from the world, speaking truth and spreading love to everyone we meet. If we do this, then we have done the good work.
We don't need ministries, only accountability. We don't need churches, only the body of Christ. Ministries are fallible organizations of man. Churches are only bricks and roofing. Accountability ensures we are constantly in the Word, living rightly, and on target. Churches provide protection from the elements and distractions, but at the same time it offers us a safe haven from the very mission field we are called to work in. Sometimes we get too comfortable behind our rose-colored stained glass windows, and for that reason we really have to push ourselves out of that comfort zone and in the words of Kid Rock, "Get in the pit and try to love someone."
I'm not bashing any particular church or ministry, but I'm highly critical of anything that tries to over-complicate the Gospel mission with man-made institutionalization. Because of Jesus, we no longer have a need for ceremony and acts of intention. We simply are. Need healing? Accept Jesus and be healed. (Isaiah 53:5) Need forgiveness? Confess your sins and you are forgiven. (1 John 1:9) Struggling with temptations? God will always make a way out. (1 Corinthians 10:13)
Hoc est verum,
De Facto
Imagine my surprise upon reading the letter of James that it suddenly became so clear. Most of us are already aware that we are to go into the world and make disciples (Matthew 28:19), and that's a big but in James 1:27 it says that the only faultless religion is to take care of the orphans and widows and to remain untainted by the world. Wow! Finally, someone can give it to me straight. I used to think I need to switch churches or find the right Bible study to figure out what I could do, but in the end that stuff isn't what is important. We live out our lives doing the good work God has called us to do to the least of these (Matthew 25:40). Some might be wondering what that good work is, but the answer is so simple. Live. We live our lives to honor and glorify God, setting ourselves apart from the world, speaking truth and spreading love to everyone we meet. If we do this, then we have done the good work.
We don't need ministries, only accountability. We don't need churches, only the body of Christ. Ministries are fallible organizations of man. Churches are only bricks and roofing. Accountability ensures we are constantly in the Word, living rightly, and on target. Churches provide protection from the elements and distractions, but at the same time it offers us a safe haven from the very mission field we are called to work in. Sometimes we get too comfortable behind our rose-colored stained glass windows, and for that reason we really have to push ourselves out of that comfort zone and in the words of Kid Rock, "Get in the pit and try to love someone."
I'm not bashing any particular church or ministry, but I'm highly critical of anything that tries to over-complicate the Gospel mission with man-made institutionalization. Because of Jesus, we no longer have a need for ceremony and acts of intention. We simply are. Need healing? Accept Jesus and be healed. (Isaiah 53:5) Need forgiveness? Confess your sins and you are forgiven. (1 John 1:9) Struggling with temptations? God will always make a way out. (1 Corinthians 10:13)
Hoc est verum,
De Facto
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